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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22747534">For All the Broken Hearts</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SterekHalelinski/pseuds/SterekHalelinski'>SterekHalelinski</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Love &amp; Memory [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Teen Wolf (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Break Up, Heartbreak, M/M, Pining, Post-Break Up, Sad Ending</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 09:47:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,553</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22747534</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SterekHalelinski/pseuds/SterekHalelinski</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek Hale returns to Beacon Hills unexpectedly, and Stiles finds himself reminiscing.  It's bittersweet.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Derek Hale &amp; Stiles Stilinski, Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Love &amp; Memory [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1635622</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>48</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. “Everything Means Nothing if I Can’t Have You”</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>It was always my intent to finish <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/6551131"><i>Destruction in Their Wake</i></a> before I wrote anything else for this fandom, but I am in a place in my life where I need more than just a hiatus from writing that fic.  Not because I hate it, but because right now I just do not have the energy to put the required effort needed to make it the best quality I can, because that story is totally my baby.  </p><p>I took a long hiatus, because a lot of challenging things happened in my life.  I failed a test, I passed a test.  I failed a different certification exam (part I of it) two more times, and I don’t have the heart right now to try for a third.  I lost a job, obtained a new one (which unfortunately has just as toxic of an environment as the one before it).  I nearly lost my home, and I was also in poor health for quite a bit of time.  I had thought about starting a ko-fi account, and then decided against it, because I didn’t want to burden my readership with that.  I found love, and then love left me behind, for reasons I still can’t comprehend.  I may never get closure on that, and I’m learning to be okay with it.  </p><p>This is a song fic of sorts.  I’ve created a playlist for this story, which can be found <a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLUMpnxcCbLX8SVShQLyz1RyDaRJGPE7O9"><b>here</b></a>.  Each chapter title is a portion of the lyrics of each song which I drew inspiration from to write the chapter.  I use past tense for flashback chapters and present tense for the present day.  This will be very vignette style.  I hope you all enjoy it.  </p><p>I apologize to all my readers who I’ve left on hold.  I hope you can forgive me.  I know this fic probably won’t make up for it because it is hellah angsty, but I wanted to get back into the swing of things and get used to writing again, as it used to be so therapeutic for me.  I am seeking it out again.</p><p>Wish me luck.</p><p>First chapter is inspired by Shawn Mendes' song, "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTJ-oqwxdZY&amp;list=PLUMpnxcCbLX8SVShQLyz1RyDaRJGPE7O9&amp;index=2&amp;t=0s">If I Can't Have You</a>."</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Stiles doesn’t know why he does it, but at some point he developed a habit of walking through one of the parks in Beacon Hills in the morning each weekend. He finds that he particularly enjoys it in the fall, and even better if it’s the dead of winter. There’s something refreshing about taking a brisk walk outdoors, and it gives him time to unwind after a long day at work and daydream a little. His mind wanders through a lot of things, thoughts bouncing around to a wide range of topics, courtesy of his ADHD.</p><p>Everything is business as usual this Saturday morning, until he comes across something he doesn’t expect. Something that stops him dead in his tracks, and for just a moment, takes his breath away.</p><p>Stopped at a fair distance away, is someone he hasn’t seen in a long time. Nine years, in fact. <em> Derek Hale.</em> Stiles hadn’t even known that the Alpha was back in town.</p><p>Stiles knows he should turn around, or walk past the were, or do <em> something </em> other than just stand there and gawk; his lips slightly parted, and his breath shallow. Except his feet seem planted to the spot.</p><p>Next to Derek is another were. A Beta, Stiles notes, as the other were’s eyes flash yellow for just a moment, before he turns to look at Derek in mild confusion; or perhaps it’s a look of concern. It doesn’t really matter, Stiles reasons. He can only look at Derek anyway, who is looking back at him with similar pause in his movements. Stiles wonders, for a fleeting moment, <em>just who that Beta is to Derek</em>, but then his mind quickly pushes away the thought. <em> No good to speculate,</em> he thinks to himself.</p><p>In the next thirty seconds it takes for either one of them to move, Stiles’ mind manages to quickly rattle through a series of moments he and Derek had shared. Stiles’ jaw tenses, ever so slightly.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. “I Don’t Know What to Do, I Think I’m Fallin’ for You”</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Didn't want to torture people with another WiP situation, so I made sure to write out this entire first part of the two-part series before posting it.</p><p>This one is inspired by Colbie Calliat's "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPCRbuL4Oh8&amp;list=PLUMpnxcCbLX8SVShQLyz1RyDaRJGPE7O9&amp;index=3&amp;t=0s">Fallin' For You</a>."</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It happened naturally—or at least, that’s how everyone else around them saw it. Scott was the first to notice something electric between the two of them, and the others in their Scooby-Doo gang eventually made the same observations. As much as Derek appeared to be aggravated by Stiles, it was soon noted that what that mostly boiled down to was Derek’s displeasure at how often Stiles put himself on the front lines and in danger. Similarly, Stiles was very vocal about his discontent at how much the were was such a “Sourwolf.”</p><p>It all came to a head one day, when Stiles finally came of age, and Derek was twenty-four. Stiles had, of course, angered some hunters who were after the Beacon Hills were clan, and in his attempt to protect Derek, he had gotten himself shot in the arm with an arrow. An enraged Derek was torn between taking the boy to safety or charging at the hunter responsible and ripping the man’s throat out with his teeth. That was when Liam and Theo had come to the rescue. Liam let rip a charged roar, which Derek properly interpreted as his second promising to take care of the threat. This was followed by Theo, who out of the whole group was least reserved about making some blood shed, and he proceeded to do what Derek had envisioned himself anyway. Derek made quick work of getting the arrow out of Stiles’ arm, and wrapping a makeshift bandage made out of his ripped shirt around Stiles’ wound. Derek ran with a protesting, partially groaning Stiles, while taking some pleasure in hearing the bloodcurdling cries of hunters who had failed in their mission to outsmart the pack.</p><p>Hunters rarely visited Beacon Hills these days. Derek’s pack had grown so tightly knit together, and they were so strong, that although they could, every once in a while, be caught by surprise like this, they were still quick to regroup and deal with most threats with nearly flawless synchronization.</p><p>The threat long behind them, the only thought on Derek’s mind was Stiles. He ran with the young man until he reached his loft, and then he gently laid Stiles down on his bed. As he did so, he ignored the way his heart swelled as Stiles’ scent mingled with his own on the bed sheets. He ignored the blood—could have cared less about it, in fact. Of course, Stiles had a very different opinion.</p><p>Stiles scrunched his nose and groaned at the pain in his arm as he moved around a bit, trying to sit up. “<em>Dude</em>,” he said, shaking his head a little and gesturing at the mess. “I’m getting blood all over your sheets.”</p><p>“Just <em>stay still</em>,” Derek growled, glaring at Stiles and daring him to get off the bed and face the consequences for doing so.</p><p>Once he was satisfied Stiles was going to remain where he was, no matter how disgruntled he was, Derek went scrounging around his loft for what he could find to disinfect and treat the younger man’s wounds on such short notice. Stiles watched the older man’s movements and let out a soft sigh.</p><p>“It was stupid, what you did, Stiles,” Derek growled as he brought over proper bandages and some disinfectant. “Just <em>stupid</em>. You know were’s can heal.”</p><p>“Yeah, well, you’re welcome, for saving your life,” Stiles muttered. “And from saving you from some pain. What if that arrow had shot you in the heart, huh? Or your head? You wouldn’t have healed so easily from that, would you have, now? Or what if the arrows had been laced in wolfsbane? You know with what our pack’s reputation is nowadays, these hunters have started to get more creative, and—<em>augh</em>, that stings!”</p><p>Stiles winced as the were began to treat his wounds, his brows furrowed in utmost concentration. “<em>Stiles</em>,” Derek said as he continued to do his work. “Stop rambling.”</p><p>“It’s in my nature to ramble,” Stiles quipped, and for a moment, he thought he saw the barest hints of an upwards twitch of the corners of Derek’s lips, but he couldn’t be for certain.</p><p>“And for the record, Stiles,” Derek continued. “That hunter was a terrible shot. He would have grazed my arm, at best. There was no need for you to jump in front of me like that.”</p><p>“<em>Wolfsbane</em>…!” Stiles protested.</p><p>He could hear the eye roll in Derek’s voice, although the were’s face somehow managed to stay completely neutral. Well, maybe except for the light warning flash in the older man’s eyes.</p><p>“We would have managed,” Derek said.</p><p>Stiles looked away from him, not wanting to concede. This was the dance they did, after all—one of them would get into some sort of trouble, and the other would berate them for it. This time just happened to be Stiles’ turn.</p><p>“Shouldn’t we have gone to Mrs. McCall for this, or something?” Stiles mumbled.</p><p>Derek faltered, for just a moment. Stiles heard the apology in his voice.</p><p>“You’re right…” Derek said, and Stiles wondered why the were sounded so guilty all of a sudden. “In the heat of the moment, I just wasn’t thinking.”</p><p>Derek didn’t want to admit to the reasons as to why he’d taken Stiles to his loft, rather than to a more reasonable choice, like Mrs. McCall, or hell, even Deaton. He lowered his eyes as he mumbled.</p><p>“We can take you now.”</p><p>Stiles tilted his head slightly out of curiosity more than anything else. His breathing grew a bit shallow, and Stiles didn’t know why his heart felt like it was skipping a few beats.</p><p>“Derek…?” he questioned softly.</p><p>He pushed his hand gently against Derek’s chest when the older man tried to lift him up again so that they could run to the McCall’s residence. Derek’s brows furrowed slightly in confusion, curious as to the reason for the younger man’s hesitance. Before he could stop himself, Stiles blurted out the question.</p><p>“Why did you decide to take me to the loft first, Derek?”</p><p>Derek froze. Stiles didn’t even know why he had even asked the question—he wasn’t sure what type of answer it was he was looking for.</p><p>When Derek didn’t reply, Stiles whispered. “It’s what you would have done for any of your Betas...right?”</p><p>Derek’s response was to suddenly surprise Stiles by scooping him up and going for another fast run towards the McCall’s. “H-hey!” Stiles protested.</p><p>Derek ignored him. When they got to the McCall residence, Melissa answered the door, less than amused.</p><p>“What kind of trouble did you boys get into now?” she asked. “And where’s Scott?”</p><p>“Hunters,” Derek said simply as he dropped Stiles down onto his feet. “As far as I know, the situation is out of control. No casualties or other injuries. Just this one.”</p><p>He tilted his chin up slightly in Stiles’ direction as he said that last part. He looked back towards Melissa.</p><p>“I can confirm,” he said solemnly.</p><p>“If you could,” Melissa said, nodding slightly.</p><p>Derek turned and howled. Several cries returned his call. In his were form now, Derek’s ears twitched slightly, to assess the frequencies. Turning back into his human side, the older man looked back at Melissa and nodded.</p><p>“They’re all fine,” Derek said. “The threat’s been taken care of. Scott will probably make his way back soon.”</p><p>“That’s a relief,” Melissa said with a smile. She then turned on a stern expression for Stiles. “As for <em>you</em>, young man…”</p><p>“Hey, I already received a pretty hefty lecture from Mr. Sourwolf over there,” Stiles said, pointing back at Derek with the thumb of his good arm.</p><p>“<em>Good</em>,” Melissa said as she took Stiles by that same arm. “But you’re in for another one.”</p><p>“<em>Aw</em>...Mrs. McCall…!” Stiles groaned.</p><p>“And <em>you</em>,” Melissa said, turning to Derek and offering him a small smile. She tilted her head. “Why don’t you come on inside?”</p><p>“What? Why would he need to come in?” Stiles asked, his face growing a little hot.</p><p>“Because I’m your Alpha too,” Derek said, both expression and tone deadpan. “Even if you’re not a were, you’re still Pack.”</p><p>If the pair didn’t know any better, they would have thought Melissa was holding back a laugh. “Now Stiles,” she said. “Let’s get you treated.”</p><p>Scott came back to his house shortly after Melissa had finished treating Stiles’ wound. The boys were invited to stay for dinner, and Melissa ushered Stiles and Derek to wait up in Scott’s room while she and her son prepared said dinner. Protests were made, of course, but it was to no one’s surprise that Melissa’s insistence won out.</p><p>In Scott’s room, Stiles was sitting on the edge of his best friend’s bed, kicking his legs back and forth a little bit, while Derek stood against the wall closest to the door, arms folded across his chest. An awkward silence settled between them for a few moments. Then, of course, Stiles couldn’t help but to break it.</p><p>“So you never answered my question,” Stiles said.</p><p>Derek merely grunted. Stiles rolls his eyes.</p><p>“Oh come on, Derek!” Stiles said, exasperated. “You know exactly what I’m talking about!”</p><p>It was a testament to how well the younger man knew him, that Stiles could interpret all of Derek’s grunts, growls, and facial expressions as words. Derek’s lips pressed into a firm line.</p><p>Stiles sighed. “The <em> loft </em>, Derek,” he said. “You took me there instead of here, first.”</p><p>“Yes, Stiles,” Derek finally replied. Stiles thought he saw the faintest glimmer of amusement in his eyes. “We were both there, you know.”</p><p>“I kn—I mean, <em>augh…</em>!” Stiles groaned. “You know what I mean!”</p><p>“Hm.”</p><p>“Oh come on you—was that typical? Would you have taken anyone else there like that? And on your bed, no less?” Stiles asked, completely missing his own double entendre. “There! I said it again!”</p><p>It was amazing, the myriad of emotions that flickered across Derek’s face in seconds. Amusement, exasperation, discomfort, and finally settling on a neutral expression.</p><p>“You’re Pack,” Derek said simply.</p><p>“That doesn’t really answer my question,” said Stiles.</p><p>He took in a short breath when Derek pushed himself off from the wall and started walking towards Stiles. He gulped when Derek’s face came dangerously close to his, hands planted on either side of the younger man, and his eyes becoming half-lidded.</p><p>“What would you have me say,” Derek growled softly, his eyes seemingly searching Stiles for an answer to a question the were had not said aloud. “Hm, Stiles?”</p><p>Stiles’ lips parted slightly. His eyes began to dilate a little.</p><p>“I...the truth, I guess,” Stiles replied softly.</p><p>There was a moment’s hesitation. Then, Derek spoke.</p><p>“Because,” he said. “You just make me crazy, Stiles.”</p><p>Then, without warning, Derek brought his face all the way in, capturing Stiles’ lips with his own. For a minute, Stiles was shocked solid, but then he found himself moaning softly, closing his eyes, and leaning into the kiss. He took fistfuls of Derek’s leather jacket and drew him closer.</p><p>It was the sound of Scott’s voice that broke them apart. “Aw, <em> come on </em> , Stiles! I mean, I’m really happy for you guys and everything, and you all should know that the Pack’s been waiting for you two to get your acts together for <em> years </em> now, but <em> really </em>, man? On my bed?”</p><p>Stiles was dumbfounded, trying to process what Scott had just said about the pack having basically waited for him and Derek to hook up. Meanwhile, Scott shrank a little when his Alpha turned to look at him with an unamused glare.</p><p>“A-uh...<em>right</em>,” Scott said, responding to Derek. “U-um...what’s mine is yours, man. T-totally.”</p><p>“Boys! Dinner’s ready!” Melissa called from downstairs. “Scott! What are you doing? I sent you to bring the boys down!”</p><p>“U-uh...c-coming, Mom!” Scott called back. “We’re, uh...all on our way!”</p><p>Scott immediately bolted after that, not wanting to offend Derek any further. Stiles grabbed one of Derek’s wrists with his good arm, before the other man could pull away.</p><p>“Um...Derek…?” Stiles asked quietly, tone uncertain. “...what was that?”</p><p>Derek’s jaw tensed slightly. “You’re answer,” he said flatly.</p><p>Stiles looked at him in slight confusion. “So we...I…?”</p><p>“If there’s no objections,” Derek rumbled, the expression in his eyes a bit vulnerable and soft.</p><p>“N-no,” Stiles said, still a little shell-shocked. “None...I just…”</p><p>“Just what?” Derek asked.</p><p>“I just feel like I’m dreaming…” Stiles said, face growing a little flushed.</p><p>Derek half-smiled.</p><p>“<em>Boys</em>!” Melissa called up the stairs again. “Dinner!”</p><p>“Come on,” Derek said, holding out a hand to Stiles. “Let’s go. We can talk about this more later.”</p><p>“R-right…” Stiles said, automatically taking the outstretched hand without a second thought. “We’ll talk later…”</p><p>If Melissa noticed that Derek and Stiles came down the stairs with their fingers entwined, she said nothing about it, although if one looked close enough, there was a twinkle in her eye, which her son noticed. Along with the mouthed words, aimed directly at her son, who smiled sheepishly back.</p><p>“<em>Well, it’s about time.</em>”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. “I Didn’t Know That I was Starving Till I Tasted You”</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Inspired by Hailee Steinfield's "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwjwCFZpdns&amp;list=PLUMpnxcCbLX8SVShQLyz1RyDaRJGPE7O9&amp;index=4&amp;t=0s">Starving</a>."</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first time that they’d had sex, it was nothing short of amazing. It had happened one day, when Sheriff Stilinski was out on duty, and Derek climbed in through Stiles’ window as he’d grown accustomed to doing. Stiles had been working on one of his boards to try and solve the Pack’s latest problem when Derek arrived.</p><p>“Der?” Stiles asked, turning to face the werewolf as he came in.</p><p>“Had to see you,” Derek said, wasting no time in moving in on Stiles and burying his face in the younger man’s neck, breathing in Stiles’ scent and letting out a small sigh of contentment shortly thereafter.</p><p>Stiles’ face immediately became flushed. “Whoa...what’s—”</p><p>The affection wasn’t unappreciated, but it was certainly unexpected. Stiles wouldn’t necessarily say he was afraid of it, but he wasn’t used to it. Not since his mother passed away. He sucked in a short breath when Derek turned him around and slowly had him walk backwards onto his bed.</p><p>“Held back long enough…” Derek murmured against Stiles’ neck, which he’d begun to start kissing down lightly. “Heat…”</p><p>“Oh,” Stiles said as Derek guided him into a laying position. When the words finally clicked in his mind, Stiles’ eyes suddenly rounded in realization. “<em>Oh</em>…!”</p><p>Derek growled softly as he began to trail a hand up Stiles’ shirt. “Shut up, Stiles.”</p><p>“S-shutting up!” Stiles said quickly. “Shutting up, right now. Although, I can’t promise that I won’t make some sounds if you keep—”</p><p>“<em>Stiles</em>,” Derek said, repeating. “<em>Shut up.</em>”</p><p>“R-right…!” Stiles said, hurriedly. “U-uh...proceed…”</p><p>That was all the permission Derek needed to go at the younger man with full force. From the passionate kissing, to the grinding, to the shedding of clothes, Derek was strategic and slow. It sent chills down the younger man’s spine. Stiles’ eyes became as blown with lust as the were’s, and he shivered upon the contrast of the temperature of the room and the full form of Derek on top of him against his exposed skin.</p><p>He whimpered when Derek lightly grazed his teeth against his neck, then slowly alternating between kissing and grazing down to Stiles’ nether regions. As the older man progressed, Stiles squirmed and moaned, grabbing fistfuls of Derek’s hair, which produced pleased rumbles from Derek’s chest.</p><p>“Oh god…” Stiles moaned, eyes wide and looking up at nothing in particular. “<em>Shit</em>, Derek...not that I want to boost your ego or anything, but <em>fuck</em>...how are you so good at this…?”</p><p>Derek’s response was to swallow Stiles whole, and then the younger man was truly out of words. He came once, rather quickly, and became extremely flustered and self-conscious as a result.</p><p>“Oh my <em>god</em>…!” Stiles quickly said in a panic as he looked down at Derek, who was busy looking at Stiles and running a tongue across his lips to collect stray seed. The younger man felt himself sobering up with shame. “I-I’m so sorry, that must have been really disa—<em>oh</em>…!”</p><p>Derek had Stiles immediately whimpering again, as he made quick work of wetting his fingers and then slowly penetrating Stiles, digit by digit. Soon, he had Stiles leaning back and looking up at nothing in particular again. Stiles squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, and then he let out a huge gasp of ecstasy as the older man gently worked on stretching him, his eyes fluttering back open.</p><p>“<em>Mm</em>…!” Stiles moaned.</p><p>Once he was satisfied, Derek slowly worked his way back up to Stiles’ ear, where he eventually rasped. “Tell me you’re ready.”</p><p>“Oh fuck…” Stiles whimpered, eyes squeezing shut again. “Oh <em>yes…</em>!”</p><p>Derek nibbled at the younger man’s earlobe for just a moment, as he slowly began to work himself in, starting with the tip. Stiles tensed at first, but the older man waited until he felt just enough give before giving Stiles any more. It took quite a bit of time, but between all the new sensations and his own raging hard-on, Stiles was eventually distracted enough to accept Derek in his entirety.</p><p>Their initial rock together was slow. As eager as Derek was, he didn’t want to break his chosen mate. What Stiles didn’t know in that moment, and what Derek had been too hazed to explain, was that he was about to mark Stiles as his. For life.</p><p>Their movements eventually increased in rhythm, and then Derek soon coaxed Stiles onto his side as he kept working the younger man. Then, Stiles’ eyes flew open and rounded at the unexpected sensation of feeling as if something were expanding inside him. The younger man moaned with pleasure as he began to feel extremely full.</p><p>“<em>Fuck</em>, Derek…! What is this—<em>nn</em>…!”</p><p>Unbeknownst to him, Derek had shifted to his were form behind him. First came the overwhelming pleasure. Not that Stiles had anything to compare it to, but he could most definitely feel Derek’s seed pumping within him. Then came the bite. Rather than feeling pain, Stiles marveled at the fact that he was suddenly overwhelmed.</p><p>“Oh my god…!” he practically screamed.</p><p><em> If this was what it was like to have an overdose on dopamine</em>, Stiles thought to himself, <em> then freaking let it rain</em>.</p><p>It took at least a half hour after Derek released his toothy grip on the space between Stiles’ shoulder and neck, before Stiles began to sober. Derek was still in were form, and gently lapping up the blood from Stiles’ fresh wound. It would be a while yet before Stiles would notice that his eyes would sometimes flash a green hue, particularly when he was tapping into his powers. As a Spark, he wouldn’t transform into a were, however, Derek’s bite <em> did </em> gift him with the enhancement of what he already had within.</p><p>It took a bit longer before Stiles realized he couldn’t really move. He wasn’t in pain or uncomfortable, but the realization that Derek had a vice-like grip on him in more ways than one confused him.</p><p>“Uh...Derek?” Stiles asked, looking slightly over his shoulder. “What exactly is—”</p><p>“Heat,” Derek murmured against Stiles’ shoulder. “I marked you as mine. Just wait a bit longer. The knot will subside.”</p><p>“Uh...knot?” Stiles questioned, but of course, Derek was going to be short and clipped on his explanations as usual. Stiles resolved to research it later. “Yeah...yeah, okay. Good talk, Der.”</p><p>“...did you enjoy it?”</p><p>The question was soft, and the were’s tone was unexpectedly vulnerable. It melted Stiles’ heart. The younger man’s lips twitched into a light half smile.</p><p>“Yeah…” he said with a slight nod. “Yeah...I’m okay with doing this again sometime.”</p><p>“Just once every full moon it will be like this,” Derek promised. “All the other times, it’ll be normal.”</p><p>“Huh,” Stiles said, tucking that information away for later, to aid his research about this werewolf heat.</p><p>He internally debated whether to try researching it among the many books or websites on myths that he frequented, or if he’d swallow his pride and have a too much information session with Deaton later. Perhaps much later.</p><p>“I’ll keep that in mind, Der,” Stiles said.</p><p>“Hm,” was all Derek had to say in reply.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. “The Walls Burned Up When Our Love Fell Down”</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Inspired by JoJo's "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9rGNfJmXRc&amp;list=PLUMpnxcCbLX8SVShQLyz1RyDaRJGPE7O9&amp;index=5&amp;t=0s">Disaster</a>."</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They hadn’t been fighting—well, not much more than their usual bouts. As far as Stiles knew, everything was going okay. In fact, he was confident at the time to tell anyone who asked that he and Derek were very much on the same page, and that they were happy together. Even those around him thought that Derek would be asking for Stiles’ hand in marriage soon, and even the Sheriff was steeling himself for the were to initiate the conversation where he would be asking for permission. No one could have predicted what was to come.</p><p>
  <span>
    <span>Derek hadn’t become tired of Stiles. He just had gotten to the point where he wasn’t sure if he liked where the relationship was going. Whenever the latest threat came to town, Stiles always threw himself in headfirst, without thinking, because that was just his nature. It was true that Derek had known this, for years now, but things were starting to wear down on him. He didn’t like how Stiles constantly placed himself on the front lines and in harm’s way, which worried Derek to no end. Being as terrible with words as he was, Derek had been unable to explain to Stiles that every time the younger man did that, it caused a visceral reaction inside of Derek, due to their mate bond. </span>
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  <span>
    <span>He blamed himself for Stiles’ enthusiasm for making himself vulnerable to danger; he had come to the conclusion that Stiles only did so for Derek’s benefit, because the threats that came almost always was due to those wanting to challenge the Alpha and the strength of his pack. </span>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <span>Stiles didn’t take the news well, of course, which came as no surprise to Derek; he </span>
  </span>
  <span>
    <span>was un</span>
  </span>
  <span>
    <span>able to take it well either, but the wolf had decided enough was enough and that it would be necessary to protect the younger man. Again, lacking the ability to well articulate his thoughts, he left Stiles with the inability to understand, and the end to their relationship ended up seeming rather abrupt. </span>
  </span>
</p><p>The pain would be hard on them both, due to the bond, but only Derek knew that. The day Derek decided to cut things off and leave town, abandoning Stiles and leaving his position as leader of their pack, Stiles had gotten up early to do some research on the latest threat that had arrived in Beacon Hills. He’d left Derek in bed, who had been ruminating over the best time to tell the younger man that things were over, and when Stiles came back, jumping onto the bed with the widest grin on his face, Derek formed the words before he was able to stop himself.</p><p>
  <em>“Stiles...”</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. “Take Me Back to a Time When We Knew”</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Inspired by The Chainsmokers' "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5Mv2iV0wkU&amp;list=PLUMpnxcCbLX8SVShQLyz1RyDaRJGPE7O9&amp;index=6&amp;t=0s">Rozes</a>," which I unofficially dub the Halelinski theme song, as this song was the same one that inspired my main work.  Trying to get back to that soon.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As the last fleeting memory escapes him, it takes all of Stiles’ strength to run towards the were. What he doesn’t realize is that they are still bonded, and the reason for strong feelings resurfacing is due to the fact the were is in close proximity. He also doesn’t know that Derek came back to Beacon Hills because of feeling drawn back to it, like a moth to a flame. He doesn’t know that Derek wants to know how he’s doing, and that the Beta beside him is not a new lover, but a were hopelessly in love with the Alpha, who now knows why Derek can never be his. The scent is clear; the pair are bonded.</p><p>Stiles turns when Derek’s jaw sets and he clenches a fist at his side. Tears well up in his eyes as it takes great resolve to walk away and not give so much as a glance behind him. He wonders why Derek returned, and wonders how long he will stay. He tries to reason within himself that at least he got to catch a glimpse of Derek again, and how Derek looks as amazing to him as the day he left.</p><p>
  <span>
    <span>His thoughts wander back to one of their better times; one of their more touching conversations. It was still early on in their relationship, when Stiles often visited Derek in his loft so that the Sheriff wouldn’t catch on to who they became to each other. Stiles remembers this as clear as day. Derek was on his back on his bed, and Stiles had laid his head atop Derek’s stomach, using it as a pillow while also on his backside. They had been laughing about something or another, Stiles couldn’t remember about what, because what he remembers most is what Derek had said after. When the laughter had subsided and there had been a brief silence that settled between them. Derek had eventually broken it with the words. Stiles still remembers the way it felt when Derek threaded his fingers through Stiles’ hair, massaging his scalp as he said it.</span>
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</p><p>“<em>Hey, Stiles.”</em></p><p>Stiles remembers he had raised his eyebrows a bit. His entwined fingers and hands were resting atop his own stomach.</p><p>“<em><span>Hm?”</span></em><span><span> he had replied.</span></span></p><p>
  <span>
    <span>Derek’s voice had been soft, almost like a whisper, but Stiles heard it, and he remembers the way his heart had felt like it was bursting with </span>
  </span>
  <span>
    <span>brilliance.</span>
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</p><p>“<em>I love you.”</em></p>
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